empty.sad.rindu.takut

hari ni macam biasa..pergi office dengan housemate..

semalam risau dan sedih dengan hal lain..tapi malas nak ambik port sangat...layankan aje..

tapi bila dah sampai office, still rasa macam biasa lagi..sebab tak ramai lagi kat office masa tu..

then after few minutes, ada satu mail masuk. "your team lead and teammate on MC today"

then, lagi sorang member pon MC gak arini..

bertambah-tambah la sunyi office ni..

and also, make the group chat "empty"..huhu

then before lunch hour, pi la duk menempel kat my jiran punya cubicle.. was trying to understand his projectS..learn the background and progress and problems and ISSUES..

damn..his projectS boleh mematikan mood untuk bekerja..haha

wondering how he could happily survive with all the shitS everyday..hmmm

alex. alex ni seat dia kat sebelah my jiran punya cubicle..

dia last day hari ni.. everyone is leaving..NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

dont know why.. i feel so strange when he really no more in our department..

back from the lunch with 4 frens plus one weird guy..hihi..u-know-who

i feel so empty when he was no longer in his cubicle..

normally..at this hour, (after lunch), can clearly hear his voice..was talking to the application team..solving some issues..giving some guide and advice to the annoying guyS(the app team)haha

but when i do not see him around, i feel so empty..feel like i have lost one 'abang' who was never get bored to guide all his siblings.*actually ramai lagi adik2 dia yang rasa kehilangan camni..

who else i gonna ask if i got issues to settle..yeah..i know..ramai lagi bole tanya..tapi yang lain2 garang macam singa..ops..bukan garang..tapi most of the seniors..i can feel that they feel annoying with my freak questions..

*yang kau tanya soalan budak tadika tu apehal.. nak wat camner..dah my level of understanding xcapai lagi tahap super programmer yang sepatutnya ada kat sini.. so haruslah banyak soalan pelik2 yang aku nak tanya..itu xreti la..ini xreti la..macam2 lagi xreti.. kalau ada alex, best sikit..dia layan jer suma soalan2 aku..tanya sepuloh kali soalan yang sama pon dia still layan jugak..dia still ajar and guide dengan penuh sabar..emmm..

and..then at around 3pm, got meeting pula dengan our manager..

he was telling the shocking news! OMG! i feel like wanna leave also..following the 'abang'..

why things happens so sudden? gimme a break man! i still not in the mood of losing one abang,

then came another news telling that we are going to get separated..

at the moment, i dont know how to feel..

honestly, i just feel like the orphans who has been living together for years...then suddenly have to get separated..how sad lei.. :(

suddenly i miss all the best moments..our moments together..

how dare THEY kill all those! i myself not sure who are they axactly..

THEY are just so CRUEL to do this to US!

we have been like a family here..*woit! ni tempat keje la..bukan tempat nak build famili..ade aku kesah?janji aku ada feel nak buat keje!

altogether..laughing together..story-mory..sharing-maring..OMG!

everything seems fading and i dont know what else going to happen after this..

i just hope that ALL of US will get stronger to face the un-seen FUTURE..

*ceh, macam sadis giler..tapi serious shit, i'm soooo SAD right now..

at this moment, as i was typing this entry,

i was looking forward for the outing.. to get together-gether..

going to Genting! ***start imagine the happiness up there.......

tak tau ape kene mengena gambar ni dengan entry ni

anata ga natsukashii desu..

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare

The shadow in the background of the morgue

The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley

We can live like Jack and Sally if we want

Where you can always find me

We'll have Halloween on Christmas

And in the night we'll wish this never ends

We'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, I miss you)

(I miss you, I miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry

I cannot sleep I cannot dream tonight

I need somebody and always

This sick strange darkness

Comes creeping on so haunting every time

And as I stared I counted

Webs from all the spiders

Catching things and eating their insides

Like indecision to call you

and hear your voice of treason

Will you come home and stop this pain tonight

Stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already

The voice inside my head (I miss you, I miss you)

*its been quite some time since the last time i was listening to this song...i miss you-Blink182

if I was sick, I could have died long ago!

ceyyy..tajuk nak kontro-besi..padahal xde kena mengena pun..huhu

arini quite sedih actually..
sedih tapi buat-buat happy..
ingat senang ker jadi pelakon ni..
hanya orang-orang yang berbakat jer boleh berlakon..
wah..lepasni boleh la pergi audition untuk jadi pelakon kat tv3 plak.hak3..

pelik la..

bila pilih yang kaya, memang kaya habis la..
sampai kasih sayang pun terlebih-lebih..
siap boleh distribute kat orang lain lagi..
memang pemurah kasih sayang sungguh!

bila pilih yang x kaya..emm..means yang biasa-biasa..
dia sibuk pulak mencari kekayaan..
sampai xde masa nak bagi kasih sayang langsung!

xfaham betul la...

LELAKI memang macam tu ker?

so, as a result, terpaksa la take a BREAK!
take a break of the "couple" stuff..
malas dah nak layan benda2 remeh yang boleh meng-complicated-kan and me-messy-kan kehidupan ni..

bukan x sayang..tapi xfaham..
bukan x rindu..tapi xsanggup nak tunggu..
nak bagi kepastian pun susah..
so better aku yang blah!



tapi bila dah macam ni, gedik pulak nak teringat la..
nak tunggu mesej la..
padahal sendiri gak yang warning semalm, "pasni jgn mesej or kol I lagi tau"
bukan aper..takut nnti drowning lagi..
kalau ade orang selamatkan, xper gak..
ni drowning sorang2..
sadis giler..


*current mode : xde mood..

jawapan saintifik untuk "cyber kids"

alkisahnyer..

semalam keluar dari ofis agak awal jugak lah..

so sampai rumah dalam pukul 8 lebih2 sikit..

since last week,

macam dah ketagih pulak tengok satu drama ni..

drama TV1..

tajuk citer tu apa entah..Trilogi Cinta kot..

drama adaptasi novel..

hero dia Rosyam Noor..

tapi bukan nak citer pasal citer tu..

memangla citer tu agak best..

even kalau korang x pernah bace novel Sharifah Abu Salem tu pun,

korang still boleh feel tengok drama tu..eceh.

di pendekkan citer,

ada la satu scene dalam drama tu,

mase tu, heroin citer(Fauziah Gous) tengah duk mencangkul pokok bunga kot kat sekeliling rumah tu..

kire macam berkebun gitu la..

pastu anak2 Rosyam Noor (2 orang budak perempuan yang xdapat dikenalpasti identiti diorang, tapi best la budak2 tu berlakon..huhu) pulak tengah sibuk jugak "gardening" dengan Fauziah Gous..(Fauziah Gous dalam citer ni adalah sebagai orang gaji kat rumah Rosyam Noor). Anak-anak Rosyam Noor time tu tengah sibuk nak siram pokok bunga. Waktu tu tengahari. Then si Fauziah Gous ni cakap la kat anak-anak Rosyam Noor,

"Along..Adik..jangan siram pokok tu. Sekarang ni tengahari.."

Then, anak-anak Rosyam tanya balik kat Fauziah Gous,

"Nape xleh siram pulak?"

Masa ni, if I was "Fauziah Gous tanpa skrip", mesti dah jawab..

"xleh siram pokok time tengahari..nanti pokok tu mati..panas dowh..huhu"

Tapi, boleh pulak si Fauziah Gous tu jawab macam ni..

"sebab masa tengahari ni la pokok menjalankan proses fotosintesis..pokok perlukan cahaya..jadi pokok x perlukan air mase tengahari.."

dush! dush! dush!

memang kena bagi jawapan macam ni ker kat budak-budak sekarang?

xleh jawab suka hati je ek?

giler saintifik nak kena bagi jawapan kat budak-budak sekarang..

tapi memang x dinafikan budak-budak sekarang memang bijak dan semakin bijak..

mana x bijak...

kalau dah Mummy nyer engineer..Daddy pulak Lawyer..

atuk pulak Doktor..Pak Usu Programmer..Mak Lang Lecturer..

Pak Andak Actor..Kak Chik Singer.. *erk...ade kena mengena ker?

adusss..kalau macam ni, kena la sentiasa duduk depan laptop bila one day anak-anak tanya apa-apa..

senang sikit..boleh Google jer..

barulah boleh jadi Mummy & Daddy yang bijaksana pada anak-anak..haha

when u cant sleep!

dont know why..

i cannot sleep tonight..

i can..but not yet until now..

there are too many things running in my head right now..

until i get to top up my celcom number and text sum1..

since the other sum1 seems..haish..

dont know how to say!

nothing ever transparent between us!

n-o-t-h-i-n-g-!

i really dont understand what is going on between us!

going on or going off?

is it wrong if i just wanted to share something in my daily life?

is it very wrong if i wanted to know what is going on in your life?

what ever la..

sometimes i feel like i becoming more like you.. - plain, insensitive & cruel! -

actually, today i wanted to share that i went to sunway..

to attend this one "seminar"..with one of my friend..

but you seemed not paying any attention at all to my little story..

its ok..

i can just share it here..

a part of sunway lagoon view from sunway pyramid

thinking..

will there be any possibility for me to sit here with you?

my heart keep telling - NEVER EVEN HAPPEN!

me watching the pizza girls n guys was doing the promotion..nyum2..

current mode : really not in mood..

dont know what to say..

feel guilty towards my friends..*something unexplained

feel so sad when thinking about "awak"..